


when we talk of love

by dystopianDebaucher



Category: NU'EST
Genre: ???? - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Office, Exes, Living Together, M/M, Parenthood, i dont know what else to tag this as uhhhhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-03-05 06:16:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13381899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dystopianDebaucher/pseuds/dystopianDebaucher
Summary: Jonghyun's sister has to work overseas for two months, leaving him with his 6 year-old nephew. For someone who, despite having lived alone for almost a decade, cannot properly take care of himself, what more a 6 year-old? Not only that, he also has to deal with suddenly living with his ex.





	1. a world where roses bloom

**Author's Note:**

> first of all i'm sorry for posting something new when i have like 4 ongoing fics lmao i'mm m mm bye
> 
> this is also loosely based off of a manga :' ) lets see if y'all know :~)
> 
> chapter title taken from la vie en rose (me, specifically listening to [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Ba_WoSZXvw) cover hehe)

"So what do you want for dinner? I'll make anything you want." Jonghyun hums, looking back towards his nephew as the little boy put on his shoes, readying to go out. He's been stuck with the task of taking care of his nephew for a week now and it's draining him (or rather, his wallet) faster than he thought.

"Steak!"

"No."

"Why'd you ask me then!" The little boy, Seonhwa, replies, hitting Jonghyun's thigh as they left his apartment.

His sister's abroad for work for two months and she didn't trust anyone else besides him (why she did, he could only wonder; it's not like he's been doing a great job at fending for himself when he just landed a stable job half a year ago) to take care of her son. He would've been fine with this arrangement, if only she wasn't in such a rush that she had forgotten to give him any money for her son's living expenses. Did she just assume he'd have enough for the both of them?  _Why?_ He sighs as they enter the supermarket, nose scrunching as he sullenly passes by the instant noodles section.

"Let's have chicken, Seonhwa," he tells the boy, bringing him to the meat section to pick out their dinner. He wasn't quite used to shopping for people other than himself, but he had to get used to it. At least for the two months that his nephew had to stay with him.

"I want beef!"

"How about pork?"

"Beef!"

"Seonhwa you can't always get what you want, you know," he sighs, crouching down to match the little boy's eye level. "I'll get chicken and pork and I'll cook up tonkatsu for you later for dinner, okay?"

Seonhwa, who was on the verge of tears, started hitting his shoulders. "You promised! You said you'd make me whatever I wanted!! You promised!!!" The little boy started screaming by the third ' _you promised!_ ', the two garnering the attention of the entire store. He moved to hug the boy to calm him down, lulling him with soft shushes as he pat his back.

"Next time, maybe?" He hummed, peeling himself away from the boy and moving to fish his handkerchief out of his pocket and wipe away his tears.

"Are you okay?" A voice asks, once Seonhwa was calm enough, his crying fit reduced to sniffles.

"Oh, we're fine, tha--Minhyun?" Surprise was evident on his features as he moves to get up, eyes wide as he stared the other down. Of all the people that he'd bump into at his local supermarket, he didn't think he'd see his  _ex_.

"Jonghyun!" He replies, cheery as he moves to pull him in for a hug. "Long time!"

"Yeah," he starts, smiling as he pulls away, taking Seonhwa's hand and pulling him close. The little boy glared up at the man, nose scrunching as he hid behind Jonghyun's leg. "What're you doing here?"

"Shopping, what else?" Minhyun replies, showing his basket filled with instant meals. "And you?"

"Same, I guess," he shrugs, side-stepping to reach for the chicken and pork, placing it in the basket.

"You said!" Seonhwa suddenly speaks up, smacking his thigh.

"I said next time, Seonhwa," he huffs, nose scrunching as he looks down at the boy.

"Next time for what?" Minhyun adds, brow raised. Leave it to his ex to suddenly barge into his life and make things doubly complicated as though it isn't already.

"He promised me beef...." Seonhwa pouts, hiding behind Jonghyun's leg once more.

Minhyun then crouches to get a better look at the boy, eyes shining as he suddenly reaches to pinch the little one's cheek. "So cute!! It's a mini-Jonghyun!" He exclaims, smiling up at Jonghyun. "I didn't know you married...." he trails off, looking back at the boy, "or had a kid."

"I did--"

"Let's get you beef!" Minhyun suddenly exclaims, suddenly grabbing the boy and lifting him up, smiling. Seonhwa wasn't usually privy to strangers, let alone comfortable enough to be picked up by one, but his eyes were shining, the little boy all smiles in Minhyun's arms.

\--

They'd just finished dinner--they had steak, like Seonhwa asked, care of Minhyun and his well-to-do self, Jonghyun cleaning up after them while Minhyun had taken the time to play with Seonhwa. He couldn't just thank the boy for buying their groceries and not invite him for dinner. _The audacity_.

"Seonhwa, you need to clean up. It's almost bed time," he tells the boy, taking off his rubber gloves and apron, wiping his hands on a small towel he leaves on the counter as he moves towards his nephew.

"No!" Seonhwa cries out, clinging onto Minhyun. "I don't want to! I want to play with Minhyun!"

"Seonhwa, you better listen to your dad, he's scary when he's angry, you know?" Minhyun manages to let out a chuckle, peeling the boy off of him, said boy on the verge of tears.

 _Dad_? Jonghyun muses, brows furrowed as he moves to take Seonhwa from Minhyun.

"No! I want to be with Minhyun!" He protests, shaking free from Jonghyun's grasp. He lets out a small sigh before looking at Minhyun, shaking his head. "I'll get you a change of clothes, could you spend the night?"

"That's fine with me," Minhyun replies, smiling up at him as he goes over to the bedroom, taking some of his clothes (which were previously Minhyun's, so it's just going back to its owner, he mused) and placing it on the bed along with Seonhwa's change of clothes.

\--

He manages to clean everything up just as the two get out of the bath, all warm and clean. He goes over and gets the hair dryer, taking a seat on the sofa as Minhyun placed Seonhwa on his lap, Minhyun sitting between his legs on the floor, waiting for his turn. It's odd how suddenly Minhyun was able to assimilate back into his life in the span of a few hours, their little rituals that he thought he'd left behind five years ago coming back at full force, his body going by muscle memory as he moves to place a then-sleeping Seonhwa beside him on the sofa, shifting his time and attention to drying Minhyun's hair.

"So where's your wife?" Minhyun asks, a bolt out of the blue as his hair was being dried.

"Wife?"

"Seonhwa's mom. Your wife? Is she not coming home soon? I just realised I'm staying the night unannounced and I feel bad," he explains, shifting to look up at Jonghyun, the other looking visibly perplexed.

"Seonhwa's mom is Soyeon....you remember her, right? My sister?"

"Soyeon's little boy is Seonhwa?!" He says, the statement coming out a tad bit louder than expected, Seonhwa shuffling in response, Jonghyun promptly shush-ing him. "He's Soyeon's little boy?"

"Yes, he is."

"The same little boy in our photo?"

"Yes, he is."

"He's grown up so fast!"

"Well, that's what happens when you age, Minhyun. Now stop moving and let me dry your hair," he huffs, shaking his head as he forcefully moves Minhyun's head to face away from him.

"This is nice, but why is he here? Where's Soyeon?"

"Thailand? I think, for a month. Then Australia. She comes home in two months or so, not sure of the exact date, she kinda just left him with me in a rush," he explains, patting Minhyun's hair whorl thrice as a sign that he's done before he moves to get up, taking Seonhwa in his arms as he moves to put him to bed properly, putting the dryer back in its place in the bathroom.

"Then you'll be living here alone with Seonhwa for two months?" Minhyun hums, resting against the bathroom door frame, unabashedly watching Jonghyun strip and get ready for his own shower time.

"Yes, now I need to shower?"

"Oh," Minhyun hums, entering the bathroom and closing the door behind him. "So will you be okay with all the bills?"

"Minhyun, OUT," he huffs, shooing him away.

\--

He doesn't take long to shower, stepping out of the bathroom with his hair already dried and in his pyjamas. Minhyun's lips puff out into a pout as he looks at Jonghyun before sighing, shaking his head. "I thought I'd get to dry your hair."

"I wanted to go to bed as soon as possible, I'm tired."

"Right," he hums, taking the space beside Seonhwa--the left side, since he knows Jonghyun prefers the right.

"You--" Jonghyun starts, though his words and argument dies in his throat as his exhaustion catches up to him, shaking his head as he moves to get in, snuggling against Seonhwa. If he could thank himself for anything, it'd be his investment in a queen sized bed. Despite the fact that it takes up more than half the room, he doesn't mind, he needs all the extra space on the bed he can get.

\--

He gets up early and prepares their breakfast, Seonhwa following suit soon after, taking a seat in the dining table.

"Can you wake Minhyun up?" He asks, setting the table. Breakfast was omelettes, Seonhwa's lunch already packed and on the kitchen counter. 

Minhyun huffs as he takes a seat, rubbing his eyes all the while. Breakfast was finished in silence, everyone far too tired to build up any conversation. He'd given Minhyun his breakfast tea he had spared for himself for those late nights, remembering how he doesn't drink coffee. Jonghyun had brought Seonhwa to wash up, the two waiting for Minhyun to finish before Jonghyun did one last check for his and Seonhwa's things.

"Jonghyun," Minhyun starts, lips pursed. "Where do you work now?"

"In a building near the border of Yongsan and Gangnam. Why?"

"And where does Seonhwa go to school?"

"Seocho. My sister lives there."

"Yet you live in Mapo," Minhyun sighs, adjusting the suit he had Jonghyun launder, shaking his head. "How about this," he hums, crouching down to put on his shoes. "Live with me for the two months Seonhwa has to stay with you."

" _Excuse me?_ "

"I live in the border of Gangnam. It'll be convenient for the both of you. I'll pay for the groceries since I'll be eating too, and you won't have to worry about rent. I can save money on hiring cleaners and on instant meals with you doing the housework. How about it?"

"Again,  _excuse me_?"

\--

It didn't take much to convince Seonhwa to move in with him, which was surprising seeing as the boy rarely cozies up to anyone that fast. With both him and Seonhwa continuously telling him to move in with Minhyun (" _it's only two months, it'll save you from wasting your time, energy, and money. It's not a bad deal_ "), he breaks within three days, Jonghyun finding himself packing both his and Seonhwa's clothes one Saturday afternoon, taking time off of work as he sighs into his suitcase, still in disbelief with everything that's happening.

Not only has he been saddled with the responsibility of taking care of his sister's six year-old but now he also has to deal with living with his ex? What an amazing turn of events, he muses, zipping up his suit case and calling Seonhwa over, taking the boy in his arms as he closes the door to his apartment, still in disbelief as he makes his way to Minhyun's, the jittery little boy in his arms the only thing keeping him sane (which was a feat in and of itself).


	2. to get back home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all i was listening to while writing this was the golden slumber ost by seungyoon and hayi so if you haven't checked that out go go go!
> 
> also the official Emo Day™ is Over but we all know it will never end until 2019 lmao jk bye gnite folkz hope u like the chapter ;u;

"Are you two ready to go?" Jonghyun hummed, fixing Seonhwa's laces before checking if the both of them had their packed lunches.

"Yeah," Minhyun replies, bending down to hold Seonhwa's hand, the little boy doing a small salute while nodding. "Are you staying in again?"

"No, have to run a few errands for an article," he sighs, shaking his head. "I can fetch Seonhwa on my way back, though."

"Great, I might be home late anyway," Minhyun adds, fixing his crooked tie.

"So for dinner..."

"Curry!" Seonhwa chimes in, fixing his hat.

"Curry it is, then. Have fun at school, Seonhwa. Stay safe, you two."

Minhyun hums in response, double checking his appearance using the mirror by the entryway before opening the door for the two of them, stepping out and muttering a  _'see you later_ ' to Jonghyun. It felt nice, having someone send you off and greet you when you come home from work. It felt nice, having someone else in the apartment, having someone in general just existing with you. It's odd, since he's known Jonghyun since sophomore year of high school and he's never made a big impact in his life until they got together junior year of college. Even when they broke up, Minhyun thought he'd be fine and function just as normally as he did before. They  _are_  30 now, and their relationship only lasted a total of three years and eight months (and twenty-three days, but who was counting, right?); it shouldn't be hard to get back into routine even after the two months are over. But somehow, as he sends Seonhwa off before heading towards his office, he feels as though this time, it won't be that easy.

And it  _terrifies_ him.

\--

It's been a week since Jonghyun and Seonhwa had started to live with him and, albeit it was his idea in the first place, Jonghyun's presence both puts him on edge and at peace. He was busy preparing for a presentation for the board of directors the coming week that he hasn't had the time to bother with the other's presence the past few days, until a knock came and his concentration was cut.

Normally, he'd be angry. Pissed off at the slightest bit of human interaction that he had to face whenever he was busy working. But who could get mad when the moment he turned back, he was faced with Jonghyun in his fluffy turtle-patterned pyjamas bearing tea and pastries?

Jonghyun set the tray of goods down on his bedside table, the boy moving towards him and resting his hands at the back of his chair, peering over his work. "You best get some sleep," he hums, absentmindedly running his hands through Minhyun's hair. "It's 3 am and it's Seonhwa's play tomorrow. You told me you'd sub for me, remember?"

"That's not supposed to be until Thursday."

"It is Thursday," Jonghyun replies, managing to chuckle at his loss of sense of time. "You okay?" He asks, the word  _baby_ at the tip of his tongue, biting down at his bottom lip just to ensure he doesn't slip up.

"Just peachy," Minhyun groans, taking off his glasses and setting them on the table, leaning back on his chair and moving to reach for Jonghyun, holding him in a half embrace as he rested his head on Jonghyun's middle. "What time does the play start again?"

"10 am. Do you want me to go instead? I can still cancel my plans. You should rest, you're taking time off for this so maybe you should rest instead?" Jonghyun doesn't mind the sudden affection--he knows Minhyun's tired and against his better judgement, he indulges him. He continues to run his fingers through Minhyun's hair, humming softly as he waited for the other's response. He only needed to visit a few more sights to finish his article, and it isn't due for another half a week. He could cancel his plans and go another day if it meant he could get Minhyun to rest, but a part of him knew the other wouldn't take up his offer. He already promised to take Seonhwa and, though his heart ached at the memory, he knew Minhyun never breaks a promise.

"It's fine," he hears him reply, pulling away from their position to roll over to his bedside table and take a sip from the tea Jonghyun had brought in--Chamomile, he notes; he really wants him to sleep--a low groan escaping his lips soon after. "I already told you I could. I can rest after the play, it shouldn't take long, right? I'll take a nap with Seonhwa after, don't worry about it."

"If you say so," Jonghyun hums, moving towards the door. "Well then, good night, Minhyun. Please get some rest already."

"I got it,  _mom_ ," he teases, smiling into his mug as he takes another sip from the tea. It hits the spot and, after indulging himself in a late night snack, he moves to wash up and go to sleep. He really couldn't say no to Jonghyun (and this happens even during occasions where the word  _'no'_ already left his mouth).

\--

They're being domestic. They're returning to their routines. They're making their presence bigger in each other's lives again and it's all so terrifying.

Seonhwa had become a part of their little routine of getting up at 7 AM, washing up and having breakfast (Jonghyun's in charge of breakfast so Minhyun's in charge of making sure Seonhwa washes up properly) until eight, taking their time with cleaning after themselves since Minhyun's particular about these things. Minhyun would take Seonhwa to school as Jonghyun's work schedule is a mess--he's part of the lifestyle section in a local magazine and it's hard to have a fixed schedule when you don't know when an article would come your way--and he'd be in charge of picking Seonhwa up. They'd have dinner at 7 PM, as per the morning's requested meal, and while Jonghyun would clean up in the kitchen, Minhyun would bathe with Seonhwa. The two would then take turns in having Jonghyun dry their hair, the little boy promptly falling asleep before ten. Jonghyun would wash up at around eight after he'd made sure all the chores were taken care of for the day--he'd do the laundry every Friday and take out the recyclables every other day--and have Minhyun dry his hair.

They're being domestic. They're building new routines. They seem like a family; Minhyun's heart drops to his stomach at this realisation, and he could feel the ground swallow him whole upon realising he was fine with it.

\--

They don't usually sleep together, Minhyun's apartment had a spare room, albeit it being relatively small, able to only house a futon. He was fine with having to share his bathroom, the two additional tooth brushes bothered him a tad bit the first week but after three weeks of living together, he had stopped minding it and started buying random things in threes. Three slippers for the entryway, three animal-pattered throw pillows, three sets of silk pyjamas, three mugs.

It was during the fourth week that he found himself in the company of both Jonghyun and Seonhwa on his bed--a queen, same as Jonghyun's, since he got used to the size back when they were together and he wasn't able to fall asleep on anything smaller after that. Seonhwa's school had a new exchange student who talked about various things with the little boy, inclusive of how in his home country (Japan), a family would sleep in threes to make a river. The moment Minhyun got home from work, Seonhwa had jumped him and asked him to make a river with him (it took some time before Jonghyun could properly explain, as Seonhwa was far too busy wondering how big their river would be and what they'd name it).

"Now we're a family!" Seonhwa hums, looking to his left to beam at Minhyun and to his right to do the same to his uncle. He didn't notice the furrow in Jonghyun's brows and the rapid blinking of Minhyun as the boy falls asleep soon after, holding onto both their hands as he did so.

\--

After that night, they added sleeping together into the routine and though it helped Minhyun get more rest, it also prevented him from doing any overtime at home. He had to now be a restless and anxious mess in the living room.

"It's nice that you stopped smoking," Jonghyun comments, making tea in the kitchen for Minhyun as he slaved over revising a report for one of their partner companies.

"I've been itching for a smoke since I turned on my laptop, Jju, it's anything but nice."

He set down the snack tray on the coffee table before he let out a sigh, shaking his head. "It's not good for you. Eat your pastry and leave it at that."

"I miss your kisses," he mutters, leaning back on the sofa as he took off his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose before rubbing his tired eyes.

Back when they were together, Jonghyun had tried to get him to stop smoking, too. Whenever he'd itch for a smoke, he'd go over to his then-boyfriend and make out instead. It was a nice alternative, he remembered. After they'd broken up, he ended up smoking more, finishing two packs by five on bad days and by nine on good ones. He's carried mints and a small cologne bottle in his pocket ever since. But now, with a six-year-old in his apartment, he had to stop again. It took him two days to completely air out his apartment before the two moved in, the now fidgety Minhyun biting on the end of his pen to cope with the lack of nicotine in his system.

And he blames the lack of nicotine in his system for the words he'd just spat out, the dawning realisation of what he just said making him abruptly sit up a few moments later, wide-eyed as he looked to check Jonghyun's reaction, the other being in the kitchen, cleaning up the small mess after he'd prepared the snack.

It wasn't until he had finished packing away the loose leaf did Jonghyun speak up, leaning against the kitchen counter, fingers drumming on the marble. "Would it help?"

"Would what help?" Minhyun groans in frustration, the tip of the pen dented due to the bite marks, his face inching closer and closer to the laptop the more frustrated he got. Being the Project Management VP brought in a lot of money in exchange for a lot of sleepless nights. He thought he'd be able to rest more once he got the promotion, but the incompetency of his team only had him on edge and at peak frustration at 3 AM.

"Kissing. Your pen's about to break."

Said pen was promptly set aside as he leant back on the sofa, features contorted into a mix of confusion and anticipation as he watched Jonghyun make his way over to him, moving to straddle him and make himself at home on his lap, his hands resting on Minhyun's chest as he looked at Minhyun, waiting for a reply. His reply came in the form of their lips crushing together, Minhyun's hands wrapping around his waist as Jonghyun's made its way up his shoulders and around his neck, fingers playing with his hair.

He didn't think kissing Jonghyun would bring him so much peace--he thought it would only bring back unwanted memories of broken picture frames and the one promise he's ever broken in his life, but he also didn't think he'd end up living with his ex as he entered his thirties. Kim Jonghyun tasted like the other half of blueberry danish that sat on the coffee table, tasted like the peppermint lip balm he puts on before bed, tasted like his life finally falling in place.

He didn't think kissing Minhyun would ignite in him a feeling he thought he'd lost--he thought it would only bring back repressed memories of slammed doors and the only lie he'd ever told the boy, but there he was, straddling his ex in his living room at 3 AM, living with him while his nephew lay in their bed, asleep. Hwang Minhyun tasted like the Rooibos tea he'd just made, tasted like what one would imagine plastic to taste like after the man gnawed off the end of his pen, tasted like his dreams of what could've been.

\--

"I'll be coming home late," Minhyun tells him as they were about to leave, moving to pick up Seonhwa, who was sleepier than usual (probably due to the playing Super Smash way past his bedtime). "Will you be able to pick him up?"

"If everything goes as planned and I don't need any drastic changes in my article, yes."

"Seonhwa, what do you want for dinner?" Minhyun hums, ushering the boy to speak with him pressing a light peck onto his temple, said boy rubbing his eyes as he moved to look at Jonghyun before resting his head back on Minhyun's shoulder.

"Omurice..." he mutters, eyes fluttering shut.

Jonghyun lets out a small chuckle as he moves to press a kiss on the back of Seonhwa's head before putting his hat in his bag.

"See you later. Stay safe, you two."

"See you, uncle."

"Later. Stay safe too."

They have three weeks left until Seonhwa needs to go back and their living situation would go back to normal. They have three weeks left to figure out what they're going to do about the routines they've built and the feelings that've festered over the kisses they've shared and the nights they've found themselves cuddling, Jonghyun in the middle of their river with Seonhwa taking his place on the right side of the bed.

They have three weeks left, and the they're both unsure if there's enough time in the world for them to make out what in the world they are and they will be.


	3. how can we love again?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "No, just," he sighs, burying his face in his hands, taking deep breaths before continuing. "I can't fall in love with you again, Jonghyun-ah."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i changed their ages to fit the timeline (and emo) more so i hope it all makes sense since a lot of people have been ??? at their break-up hehe
> 
> chapter title taken from [ this song! ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrqBOHOSUBU)

If Minhyun could turn back time, he'd go back to that snowy day when they were in their early twenties, eating ice cream in the middle of winter, wondering where life would take them. They were twenty-two then, and their relationship had just started when the year was about to end. The two had the stars in their eyes and the entire universe in the palm of their hands--or at least, that's what it felt like for the next two years (and eight months and twenty-seven days, but again, who's counting?).

Hwang Minhyun at 23 felt like he had his entire life figured out; felt like he was at the top of the world, especially since he had Jonghyun. Kim Jonghyun had been God's greatest gift to him since Swiffer and he'd be lying if he said he could imagine life without him. The two were a match made in heaven--everyone said they'd last a lifetime, that they'd last forever--what with Minhyun who never broke a promise and Jonghyun who never lied (at least to him).

If Jonghyun could turn back time, he'd go back to that summer when the two of them got their first job offers and celebrated in the niche restaurant they frequented back in college. they were twenty-four then, and contemplating about how their tastes don't suit adults as the two ordered fruit juices and chocolate frappes. "Do you think we'll be able to like coffee someday?" Jonghyun asked, taking a sip from his double chocolate frappe.

"Maybe, when we're old and full-fledged corporate slaves," Minhyun replies, chuckling into his glass of grapefruit punch.

"That won't be long then, huh?"

"Maybe next year? When we're 25?"

"Then what about wine?"

Minhyun chuckles once more, looking at Jonghyun in both contemplation and adoration. Was this how planning their future was like? Over how their taste buds would adapt to drinks? He purses his lips as he leans back, shrugging as he replied. "Maybe when we're 27 and crumbling under the weight of the world and societal expectations."

"Good answer. Guess that would put whiskey at past 30? I don't think I'll be ready for whiskey even  _with_  the Earth shattering at my feet and my future turning bleak."

It was then that Minhyun couldn't reply, the smile on his face disappearing as he hums, taking another sip from his drink. Jonghyun noticed the shift in the atmosphere, chewing on his bottom lip as he leant forward to grab his drink, humming softly. The two of them at 22 could imagine them at 25. The two of them at 25 could imagine them at 27. The two of them, however, couldn't imagine anything more. Twenty-five was supposedly the prime of their lives; twenty-seven was still young, they were still okay. But at thirty, they'd be  _old._  They would've lost their youth and the courage that went along with it at thirty; they'd be at an age where  _youth_  couldn't overcome everything, and they couldn't imagine that.

\--

Jonghyun was still in the kitchen, cleaning up after dinner when he noticed how Minhyun's been hovering near the kitchen counter since he'd put Seonhwa to sleep (they planted new flowers in the garden of their kindergarten that day and he was beyond exhausted when they got home--the boy had almost fallen asleep while eating, too).

"Do you need something?" He asked, lips pursed and brows furrowed as he looked back at the man pacing behind him.

They had three weeks--or rather, two and a half--and the two still didn't know how to approach anything. They'd shared more kisses and more nights in bed over the past two months after ghosting each other for God knows how long (Jonghyun had stopped counting by the fifth month, and Minhyun never bothered) and the internal turmoil Minhyun was going through as they became more and more domestic was apparent in Jonghyun's eyes.

"W...when will you start packing?" Minhyun managed, biting his inner cheeks as he waited for the other's response.

"Minhyun, if you want us to leave earlier than planned, we can, you know. Just give me a two-day heads up, at least."

"N-no! T-that's not....that's not what I meant."

Jonghyun put the dishes in the drying rack, wiping his hands on the hand towel draped over his shoulder as he turned to face Minhyun, a sigh escaping his lips as he rested against the kitchen sink, arms crossed.

"This just....it just has to stop, Jonghyun," Minhyun continued, eyes blinking at what seemed like mach speed.

"What does?"

" _This_ ," he replies, gesturing to the both of them, his tone fluctuating as he continued to speak. "We can't get back into this, you know that. We're not....it's not....."

"I get it," Jonghyun huffs, cutting him off. "It's not like I expected us to get back together, Minhyun. Calm down."

"No, just," he sighs, burying his face in his hands, taking deep breaths before continuing. "I can't fall in love with you again, Jonghyun-ah."

\--

They didn't even reach wine-tasting, he mused, picking up the shards of the broken picture frame that lay between the two of them in the middle of the living room.  _I guess crumbling under the weight of of the world and societal expectations came faster than we predicted,_ he thought, laughing to himself bitterly as he cleaned up the mess the other had made.

"Jonghyun-ah, I'm so sorry I--"

"Just stop, Minhyun," he huffed, not bothering to look up at the other, the photo of the two of them during their first trip together (it was to Sapporo, they went to watch the light show their second winter together), making his heart swell and collapse at the same time. He took his time collecting the shards and cleaning up--usually it'd be Minhyun that was this anal about making messes and cleaning up, but the other wasn't in his right state of mind at the moment (who was, at this point)--only looking at Minhyun after he'd come back from the kitchen, throwing the broken picture frame and the picture along with it.

It wasn't his fault, he knew that. It was anyone's and everyone's, instead. Why was it possible to fall in love with a man when society was so against it?

Minhyun's parents have been adamant in setting him up with different girls in hopes that they'd marry while Jonghyun's had long abandoned him after catching him with his high school boyfriend in bed (though his sisters had stuck by his side, he hasn't talked to his parents since he was 17). As cliché as this entire break-up was and as anti-climactic as it felt, the two couldn't help but feel powerless in the face of an entire societal construct that made their lives a living hell when all they wanted was to live a quiet life together.

"It's fine," Jonghyun started, using all of his willpower to hold back his tears, letting out a sigh in an attempt to even out his tone, to not sound so desperate in the face of the person he probably loved the most in the world. "Let's end this, Hyun-ah. It's fine, I knew we wouldn't last long, anyway."

\--

_"I can't fall in love with you again, Jonghyun-ah."_

This meant he managed to stop loving him after all those years of not being in each other's lives. That means he was still able to move on, to a degree. That was good, Jonghyun mused, this meant he could do it again.

"Are your parents still pestering you to marry?" Jonghyun asks, tone calm and even (which surprised him, truth be told).

"They've been trying to set me up with someone new after I broke up with my girlfriend three months back. Told me I'm getting  _too old_ and that I should settle down soon."

"Unsurprising," he hummed, taking his apron off and setting the hand towel down, folding the two and placing it neatly beside the newly wiped sink. "We'll get out of your hair soon, don't worry. I hope all the matchmaking goes well, Hyun-ah," he manages, smiling as he moves past him to retreat to the bathroom, his shower that night longer than usual.

\--

It's their last week together and Seonhwa's noticed how distant the two have been, lips pursed as he stared down the sand he was playing with (and if he stared any further, it probably would've turned to glass). It wasn't until Minhyun had opted out of picking him up one day that he had seen his uncle, curled up in the corner of their room, folding their clothes and transferring them from the cabinet to their suitcases. Some nights, he would wake up to sniffling and some days he'd wake up to find his uncle with puffy eyes, but he paid them no mind until that night.

He didn't want to say anything, in fact, he couldn't. The evening passed by quietly, with Jonghyun retreating to his room as soon as he had finished cleaning up after dinner, his uncle bathing him before dinner as per their changed routine. His brows were furrowed and his little fists were clenched as he marched into Minhyun's room, smacking his arm and willing the tears that threatened to fall away.

"Seonhwa? What's wrong?"

"What did you do?" Seonhwa huffed, standing his ground and refusing Minhyun's embrace.

"What do you mean?"

"My mum told me that people only kiss each other when they're in love. That's why she kisses me and my dad every day before leaving for work. That's why my uncle makes sure to kiss me before bed. And I thought that was why you two kissed, too. But uncle's been crying a lot recently and it's all your fault, isn't it?"

Minhyun was taken aback at how keen the little boy was and how he put everything together (sans his mini-heart attack at the revelation that Seonhwa had seen them kiss), mouth agape as he struggled to find the right words to reply to him with. He didn't know where Jonghyun was--probably in the shower, they did just finish dinner--and he knew if he had dismissed Seonhwa now, nothing would end well.

"I'm sorry, Seonhwa," he muttered, moving to kneel before him, hands firm on the little boy's shoulders. "We just....had a little fight, is all."

"Then fix it. Make him happy again," the little boy huffed, sniffling softly. "He's been so happy living here the past two months, and you ruined it. I just want my uncle to be happy again. I haven't seen him this happy since...since...." Seonhwa muttered, tears trailing down his cheeks, "since he used to visit me and give me Japanese snacks."

Minhyun swore he felt his heart stop at that very moment. He and Jonghyun had a penchant for Japanese sweets and snacks and made it a tradition of theirs to buy some every end of the month. Coincidentally, Jonghyun had also paid a visit to his sister every first week of the month, bringing some of their snacks with them whenever he did so. He would come with him at times, with Jonghyun's sisters being the only family members that still care for him, of course he was beyond grateful that he still had them in his life.  _I guess that stopped when we did_ , he thought, a sigh escaping his lips as tears threatened to fall, too.

At thirty, with their youth gone, he couldn't blame everything on unfounded courage and phases.

At thirty, with the world weighing down on his shoulders, the only time he was able to breathe once more was with Jonghyun back in his life.

At thirty, he couldn't imagine life without Jonghyun, still, even after living how many years without him.

At thirty, it was a fact that this love wasn't just some  _phase_ as some others put it, and that whatever unfounded courage he had put in the back burner for the longest time needed to make a comeback, just this once, to make things right again.

"I'm so sorry," he muttered once more, pulling Seonhwa in for a hug. "I promise I'll fix this," he hums, reaching to pat the back of Seonhwa's head, "I don't break promises, you see?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so do y'all know what the broken promise and the lie is? : ^ )
> 
> hmu on [cc](https://curiouscat.me/vvalpurgisnacht) n scream @ me (n mbe scream @ me re: wolf!ong ahahaha im stuck send help)


	4. it was me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the two fight over cigarettes and it's probably not the fight you're expecting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this might possibly be the last chapter i churn out until march cause of requirements haha or at least until holy week so there's that lmaoooooo
> 
> now there are still some kinks (no not like that) in their relationship that i've yet to work out and it's really minhyun-centric-ish this time around but hopefully i can sort out jonghyun's side easier and not take a month to update lmaooooo
> 
> title taken from [this song that deserved more](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsebMOWQiYM)

He's been trying to talk to Jonghyun for days now, the other either blatantly ignoring him whenever he approached or spat out a myriad of excuses to lessen their time spent together at home. He's not surprised, he did imply that he was better off without the other, that their current relationship and interactions would become detrimental to him and his future plans (even though the latter was only alluded to, if anything). It was their last day together, and if he was going to make good on that promise he made with Seonhwa, he needed to fix things; it's now or never, and he can't deal with the possibility of never.

"We need to talk," he hums, leaning against the door frame, arms crossed as he watched Jonghyun pack the last of their things away in their suitcases, folding Seonhwa's newly washed garments and packing them away.

"I'm busy," was the response he got, Jonghyun not even bothering to look his way.

His patience was up and really, the packing could wait. Minhyun went over and shut the suit case closed, staring directly into Jonghyun's eyes as the man went and glared at him and his rather childish actions. "I don't care. We need to talk, Jonghyun-ah," he huffed, sitting cross-legged on the floor beside him, lips pursed and brows furrowed.

"I don't think we have anything to talk about. If it's about the money you spent on us, I can wire you some when I get back. If it's about our schedule, we're leaving before dinner tonight. If it's about our things, I'll get a mover to gather our other suitcases and boxes before Monday. Are we done now?"

"No," he sighed, shaking his head. Looking around, they've accumulated so much things the past month and a half that it really did seem like they were there to permanently move in, his heart clenching as the room's glamour had slowly dwindled down to various labelled boxes. "It's....it's about us, Jonghyun-ah. I want to talk about us."

"There's nothing to talk about," he nods, tone calm as he moved to continue and fold their laundry, "I think you made that quite clear last week."

This was all his fault, he had to admit. Both back then and now, everything had always been his fault. He succumbed to the societal pressure too easily, collapsed under the weight of his family's expectations. He completely forgot about how Jonghyun had to face the world alone after he was found out, how he had to continue to pretend and act normal just to keep himself safe. He was supposed to keep Jonghyun safe, he was supposed to make him feel normal. They, after all those years together, were supposed to stand strong and be there for each other, support each other and allow each other to grow. What he did...was unreasonable, childish, and flat-out disgraceful.

Now, at thirty, he was looking to fix that, if Jonghyun permitted it.

"I didn't mean that I--" their talk was cut off by the ringing of the door bell, both their brows furrowing as Jonghyun got up to get it.

To his surprise, the last person he expected to see when he opened the door was his sister. He couldn't even get a word out before she all but exploded into a flurry of stories about her trip and about how she's there to get Seonhwa's things because her husband had also gotten back from his own business trip a few hours before her and that he'd already gone and picked him up from his weekend daycare and that she'd thank them and treat them out to dinner when they settle in again before leaving, the two wide eyed as they were left to deal with the aftermath that was his sister's antics and rushed thanks, cheek kisses and numerous presents--the most extravagant of which being two bottles of Penfold's wine--and the fact that they were suddenly so alone with nothing to do and no excuses to bare.

\--

Being left alone meant that Jonghyun had nothing to say or do and that he had no further excuses to extend his stay at Minhyun's apartment. However, the multitude of gifts that his sister had brought over was more than he could carry and the fact that Minhyun had already opened the wine meant that he was going to stay, whether he liked it or not. It was a habit, or rather, a curtesy ingrained on the two's personalities; they had this thing where they wouldn't drink alone, and given that they're now 30 and if whatever promise and future plans they had back then coupled with the current status of their relationship and the heavy air floating around in the apartment, wine seemed like the best idea they've had thus far.

There was one thing that Minhyun forgot, however, as he opened that wine bottle and took out one of his favourite whiskey brands: Jonghyun's gemini tendencies shone through whenever he's drunk and he knows just what buttons to push to get the reactions he wanted from Minhyun. It's been like that since forever and will likely stay that way with how Jonghyun's smiling brighter than the sun and how he looks up at him, lips pursed and expectant, acting coy all while knowing Minhyun wants him more than anything else in the world. So maybe he should rethink that, Jonghyun huffed, breathing still heavy as he found himself naked on Minhyun's bed, his post-sex glow coupled with the sunset making him simultaneously feel like the most powerful being in the universe and the weakest shit to ever exist. Sex under the influence of alcohol was a rather awful "habit" of his, though he only showed this side of him to Minhyun (and his two rebounds after him but that's not the point).

See, sex is good. Sex with Minhyun, better. Sex with Minhyun in 2018 under their current circumstances? Now that's debatable.

They were still catching their breaths when he decided to roll over, facing Minhyun who looked as ethereal as ever. Sex had always been good with him; he knew where his good spots were and memorised them like the back of his hand. After all these years, it looked like neither forgot how they held and loved each other. Ironic, seeing as the past five years all they've been wanting to do was to forget.

"You're still a virgin, aren't you?" Minhyun mused, moving to sit up, groaning as he did so. "You never wanted to fix that? Or get rid of it? I'm still down for another round," he shrugged, all nonchalant about the matter.

"I'm good," he replies, reaching over to place his hand on Minhyun's shoulder, fingers softly drumming on them. "I can get you to move to my liking, looked panicked, distressed, and horny as fuck, and pretty much unravel with every touch all while I'm underneath you and honestly, I like that power."

His rationality was about to leave him, clutching onto the metaphorical bird that almost flew with his common sense and self-restraint. He moves to open the drawer on his bedside table, taking out a pack of cigarettes, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. He was about to light one when Jonghyun came and took the stick from him, moving towards the balcony area in nothing but an oversized sweater he'd picked up from the floor, lighting the cigarette and smoking again after what felt like a decade.  
"So everything's just that stressful for you, huh," Minhyun comments, leaning against the veranda railing, his portable ashtray in hand.

"Well, I did just have sex with my ex that dumped me to marry some girl after he promised they'd spend forever with me so there's that," he chuckles, taking a long drag after, eyeing Minhyun as he approached and blowing the poison his way.

Minhyun rolled his eyes in response, taking the cigarette that lay in between the other's fingers, putting it out and making Jonghyun erupt into a blubbering mess, wide eyed and evidently distressed. "Ya! I  _just_ lit that one up! You just wasted money! Just how rich are you?" He huffed, brows raised as he gestured wildly to the unfortunate event that just unfolded and human that caused it. It was rather understandable, he'd just gotten past the point of  _barely hanging on_ as he reached his thirties and his bank account isn't something to be proud of, especially after Seonhwa (it was only a week or so, but a child drains a  _lot_ ). 

He couldn't help but chuckle at Jonghyun's flustered and distressed state, moving to wrap his arms around the boy, laughing against the crook of his neck. "That's not the point, Jonghyun-ah. Seriously, it's not that big of a deal."

"To  _you_! I can't believe you've become the old rich guy trope. You know I hate those tropes!"

"I'm not! But there are more important matters to discuss besides cigarettes and their inflation rates in the market!"

"No??????" Jonghyun huffed, craning his neck to look at the other, brows furrowed. Minhyun, in turn, kissed his forehead, telling him he'll wrinkle before releasing him from his grasp. "Listen, I know I've made a lot of mistakes, and I know I lost you once already. I've made a lot of mistakes and letting you go was and will forever be my biggest one. I'm so sorry, Jonghyun-ah, but honestly you're the best thing to happen in my life and I don't want to lose you again. It's cliché and I know you hate those too, but I'll do anything," he didn't think he could get all those words out of him at once, nor did he imagine that Jonghyun's immediate reaction would be to turn red and kick his shin, but there he was, on the floor of his balcony, clutching his shin and rubbing it.

"Fine then, _asshole_ ," Jonghyun managed, trying to keep his tone steady; how they managed to not unearth their feelings the moment they met back at that supermarket, he didn't know (maybe it was Seonhwa that kept him together, maybe it was the fact that he never imagined that they'd end up in this situation, maybe he needed an oscar for acting like he wasn't falling apart and falling in love  _again_ ) but now he was certain that getting back together would be the best and worst thing he could probably do, and being as unreasonable as he could may help him dissuade his heart. "Call up your parents. Tell them to stop trying to hook you up with girls. Tell them you've been in love with a man for the past decade," he snorts, waving his hand dismissively.

Minhyun gets up and glares at him before entering the room--he thought the conversation would end with that, but when he came back out with his phone on speaker, he distress he felt when he put out a just lit cigarette was multiplied by infinity and he wanted the entire world to stop and end right there and then.

"Hello, mom?" Minhyun hums, continuously dodging Jonghyun's attempts at getting the phone away from him. "I'm in love with a man, been in love with a man for a while now. So if you could stop trying to get me to marry, that'd be great!" His tone was bright and cheery and one would think he'd just asked for some extra mandarins for the new years but hearing his mother panic on the other line before he hung up made his heart drop.

"Why'd you do that!!" He screamed, telling him to call his mother back and explain that it was all just a joke.

"You asked!" Minhyun replied, refusing to do so and turning his phone off.

"I didn't  _mean_ it! What is this, some sort of emotional blackmail?" Now, if it was anyone else, that would be probable. But Minhyun doesn't think that far ahead and with Jonghyun abruptly turning into a brat out of nowhere and becoming unreasonable, he couldn't have planned for this to happen. 

"That's not what I meant when I told you I'd do anything, Jonghyun-ah. You know this." And Jonghyun did. Lord God he did. And that only made things worse. "Hey," Minhyun muttered, cupping Jonghyun's face and thumbing over his cheek bones, trying to ease away the stress that he'd just burdened the other with. "Just....think about it. Forget what just happened with my mother, I'm thirty and well-off and really, I feel like I should've done this sooner," a bitter chuckle escapes his lips before he continues, "do you know why all my girlfriends break up with me?"

Jonghyun rolled his eyes in response before waiting for the other to continue. "They kept telling me I always ended up looking for someone else in them. As though I'm projecting all my ideals to them and they couldn't keep up. Guess who my ideal is, hm?" He hums, pressing a kiss to Jonghyun's temple, bringing him close and enveloping him in a hug. "I know second chances are hard to come by, but please, think about it? Mull it over for a while, try to see if you could learn to love me again, cause Jonghyun, I never stopped. Come back to me?"

"I...." Jonghyun trails off, pushing him away before going back into the room, gathering his things and dressing up, grabbing his bag and suit case. He did this all in silence, the rustling of clothes and the wheels on the hardwood floor echoing throughout the apartment. Minhyun could only watch, arms crossed as he bit his lip, waiting for Jonghyun to say something, _anything_.

"I....." he starts again, just as he was about to leave, the door already open as he looks back. "I'll text."

\--

The ride home was uneventful, if one would call having a breakdown in the back of a taxi a normal occurrence. He didn't know what to feel about the entire situation--a part of him wanted to stay in Minhyun's arms right then and there, but another part was just so  _unsure_ of everything, especially after how he was left behind with nothing during the time he had deemed their future to be the brightest.

It's been five years and truth be told, he was never fully able to move on; the only lie he's ever told was a lie to shield him from his misfortune and now everything's breaking apart right in front of his eyes (and the mirror, as he moves to wash up and try to  _not_ look like a hot mess when he actually goes in for work in the morning). He told him he didn't see a future with him, told him they believed they wouldn't last long, and now here he was, back at square one, wanting to believe that all of that was still just a lie.

The text doesn't come until after a week and Minhyun's been on edge ever since. Jonghyun had been off the grid since then, even his sister asking Minhyun (thank god he didn't change his number) where her brother went off to or what his schedule was (she was never notified of the specifics of their break-up, so to this day she thinks they're still friends, and her having to pick Seonhwa's stuff from Minhyun's apartment only proved otherwise).

**A Kim Jonghyun:**

friends

we'll start off as friends again

it's been five years, minhyun

i don't know anything about you nor you about me

we'll see where it goes from there

Given how even with the lack of proper capitalisation, Jonghyun having no typos and using proper punctuation in his texts meant he was serious. The only other times he'd gotten such texts was when he was told 'I love you' and 'i'm getting my things at 9.'

**Minhyun:**

Alright, friends

To lovers, maybe?

So do friends go out on Fridays now or?

**A Kim Jonghyun:**

ha ha, minhyun

there will be no dates, no sex, no kissing, no hugging, no general touching

ESPECIALLY HAND HOLDING

no nothing

we're just friends

**Minhyun:**

Okay so to clarify:

Friends don't go out together for movies

Or dinner

Or any meal, actually

**A Kim Jonghyun:**

ugh fine dinner is fine

but once a week

i don't want you treating me or whatever

they will all be not-dates

as bro as bros could get

all that heterosexual bullshit

got it?

**Minhyun:**

Got it

Oh and also?

I learned about emotional blackmail properly

Thanks to Minki

**A Kim Jonghyun:**

and?

will you really use it against me?

that's foul, even for you

**Minhyun:**

At this point do I even have anything to use against you

Besides my face?

And sex?

Which we've just agreed we won't be doing?

**A Kim Jonghyun:**

fine, whatever

just send over your sched or text my sister

she's been asking about you again

we're having dinner with her and her family next weekend

**Minhyun:**

Duly noted

Will confirm with her

Oh and Jonghyun?

**A Kim Jonghyun:**

what do you want now?

**Minhyun:**

I love you.

**A Kim Jonghyun:**

ok seriously

fuck you hwang minhyun

Hopefully Minhyun couldn't tell how nervous he was, his heart rate almost  _surreal_ as he texted. His face was red and his heart was doing back flips while his stomach gave birth to all the different butterfly species known to man. How he'd survive this entire 'friend' stint he put himself in, he didn't quite know; the entire point of the two of them going back to being friends was so that he could ghost him more often and  _not_ be so itchy to get back into his bed, but with how things are currently going, he'd probably be back in it by next weekend.

Maybe Seonhwa's presence could put him back at ease and help him keep his sanity (and miraculously make it stay). Maybe next weekend wouldn't be as terrible as he's imagining it to be. What he knows for sure, though, is that he's completely and utterly in love with Minhyun and it's taking all his willpower to not call him and fall back into his arms, into their routines, into their intertwined lives and ideal future. But this wasn't the time to be thinking about that--they'd only been in each other's lives for around two months after the two had ghosted each other, opting to believe that their entire relationship was a shared make-believe fantasy; he refuses to break that easily.

 _Earn it back,_ he thought, falling on his bed face first as he let his phone vibrate with notifications of new messages, tossing it a few inches away and opting to curl up in the middle of his bed,  _earn back the love I have for you. It's the least you can do._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> plot hole: there weren't any neighbours to shut them up the moment they started arguing lmao
> 
> so their drunk sex, will i ever write it out? lmao maybe  
> was it rough, though? yes  
> power bottom jonghyun? b o oo o o o y
> 
> so anyway, if anyone has some tips regarding how jonghyun could get himself out of this 'friend' stint he put himself in, feel free to drop some below (or in my [cc](curiouscat.me/vvalpurgisnacht))!


	5. some kind of emptiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I can't believe this," he starts, gaze shifting towards his sister when she finally caught up, "my life's a fucking noontime drama."
> 
> "Your time slot would be evening, in my opinion."
> 
> "Noona!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess what i ended up listening to before writing this :)
> 
> also note that i'm using western ages not korean hahahahahahaha end me i keep forgetting about that

There was a bed, he was with Minhyun, and they're alone. It's the following weekend but  _no_ , they're not having sex. At least, that was the plan. 

The week passes by quickly when you don't want it to, Jonghyun groaning as he fixed his collar, grabbing his blazer before they went out. The plan was a thank-you dinner care of his sister, not an overnight family getaway that includes his ex. They were meeting at a nice hotel in Seoul, his sister telling him it'd be a good time to explore the city without any worries about work and deadlines to meet; this time Seonhwa would have more fun with the entire group (her husband was back now too, and her entire family which somehow included him and Minhyun were to have the 'greatest weekend possible', according to Soyeon at least) and she'd also be thanking him and Minhyun for taking care of him for two months, hitting two birds with one stone.

"I get the dinner, I really do," he starts, groaning as he checked-in, his sister accompanying him while her son and husband go around the hotel, "but the  _entire_ weekend? With  _Minhyun_?"

"Why not?" She replies, nonchalantly waving her hand dismissively as they wait for the elevator, balancing on the balls of her feet while they did so. "I thought you two made up since you lived with him for two months. Come on, it's been how many years. And he helped you! I can't even think of one time any of my exes ever helped me out."

"For one, you only had two exes: one was an asshole while the other you completely broke, let's be real here. I wouldn't help you either," he snorts, rolling his eyes as they got in, earning a smack from his sister. He side-stepped away, leaning against the elevator as he spoke, "and for another, so what if he helped me out! It was all a coincidence, anyway. I can't believe you'd end up paying for another room just for this."

"Another room?" She hums, brows furrowed.

Shock was evident on his features as they alighted from the elevator, immediately running towards his room and dropping his bag once he saw the two beds. "I can't believe this," he starts, gaze shifting towards his sister when she finally caught up, "my life's a fucking noontime drama."

"Your time slot would be evening, in my opinion."

"Noona!"

— — —

Minhyun arrived during dinner time, after work and an hour long commute (traffic may not be the most frequent of problems for many but awful and stupid drivers exist everywhere), looking as well-kept and perfect as always. Life's unfair and he's walking proof. Seonhwa did help ease the tension, with him sitting between the two of them and the two taking turns in helping him with his food.

"Did you manage to keep your promise?" Seonhwa whispers, earning himself a  _look_ from his uncle as he stuck close to Minhyun most of the night.

"I'm working on it, it takes time," he replies, patting the child on the head before gesturing for him to take another bite. Since the first time they texted, they've seen each other twice: once for dinner (which he was actually surprised he agreed to) and another time by chance, at the grocery store, a small and awkward conversation taking place before they both walked away. (Imagine: "How are you?" "Good, you?" "Great, great." "That's nice." "Yeah." and other possible variants, with groans and lots of shifting in between) 

"So, Minhyun," Soyeon interjects, smiling as she pat the side of her lips clean, placing the napkin under her plate. "What're you doing now?"

"I work for a restaurant chain as the Project Management VP. Just got promoted from Operations Manager," he explains, returning the smile. The two were acquainted when they were dating, but after that his connection with the only family Jonghyun has left vanished. She used to dote on him a lot, told him off and scolded him when needed, believed and trusted him with Jonghyun's heart. He still feels bad for what he did back then and how they ended, thinking he'd be met with animosity when they met again. Looks like it'll be a pleasantly civil evening, he thinks.

More small talk ensued and the two took turns in taking care of Seonhwa. When Minhyun ate, Jonghyun cut up the meat on Seonhwa's plate. When Jonghyun ate, Minhyun helped Seonhwa drink his juice and made sure he didn't spill. They also wiped his face when needed, took him to the bathroom in turns (the boy was on his second refill—seems like he's not a fan of the medium well steak), and engaged in small (and baby) talk with the boy and his parents. If anyone saw them, they'd probably think they were Seonhwa's parents instead of the two sitting across them. 

When Seonhwa finally fell asleep, it was in Minhyun's arms. Soyeon took him and told the two of their itinerary for the following morning before leaving them to their own devices, telling the two to have a good night (and even adding an inappropriate "I don't know how thick the walls are, try not to make too much noise" comment before leaving). The routine part wasn't awkward, the two took turns in the bathroom and did as they're used to. No words were exchanged before Minhyun spoke up, a small chuckle breaking the silence as Jonghyun took out a wine bottle from the fridge, in the middle of checking the price.

"I still can't believe we survived with a kid for two whole months," he comments, Jonghyun finally turning his way and the two finally exchanging eye contact.

"Well believe it, cause we did," he replies, rolling his eyes, putting back the wine bottle and opting to open a can of beer instead. 

"It was nice," Minhyun starts again, taking a seat on the edge of one of the beds, stretching slightly in his pyjamas. "You, me, living together. A kid wasn't in the original plan but apparently we can make it work. Maybe an actual house instead of an apartment? Or at least one with a bigger veranda, so we can have a small garden and grow our own veg—"

"Stop talking about what we could've been," Jonghyun cuts him off, putting down the can with a loud thud, taking a seat on the desk and twirling the rolling chair to face Minhyun, glaring. The glare did nothing, apparently, as he was met with a smile and Minhyun getting up and coming close, leaning against the back of the chair as Jonghyun turned his back against him when he saw him get up. The glare wasn't an invitation for him to come closer, damn it.

"I'm telling you of what we could be," Minhyun replies, humming softly as he reaches to fiddle with Jonghyun's hair, newly washed and smelling like jasmine.

"Optimistic, aren't you?" He scoffs, waving his hand dismissively before making a grab for his drink, taking a swig before it was taken by Minhyun, sipping from it before placing it atop Jonghyun's head.

"Can't I be?"

It annoys Jonghyun to no end, how easily Minhyun's able to read him and integrate himself back into his life. Even during the dinner, the man that his sister previously said she'd dismember was chatting nonchalantly with her, genuine laughter escaping their lips all throughout. It wasn't like they lasted very long and it wasn't like they knew each other for long, either. If anything, he could still consider their relationship a college fling but his presence in his life keeps growing and it's been stressing Jonghyun out.

"Shut up," he hisses, moving away from the back of the chair, stomping towards his bed and just curling up in it, brows furrowed and eyes shut. Minhyun's been making an effort to make him look his way again and it's becoming harder and harder to stay away given their circumstances. Two months? It would've been fine if it started out with the entire friendship stint, but they  _lived together_ , a feat they only accomplished for approximately 3 and a half months before their break up.

Right, their break up. 

It takes two to tango and two to break-up a relationship. Jonghyun didn't try to fix things, didn't try to stay, to make Minhyun stay. The realisation of his own fuck-up came with Minhyun's advances and apologies and everything in between. Given all the effort Minhyun's putting into getting him back, what he should first learn is how to trust himself, his words, and his actions once more. How serious was he with all of this? Was his first lie really a lie, or did he truly end up expecting this—after all, he did get kicked out of his family and one of his worst fears was for Minhyun to get kicked out of his.

He feigned sleep the rest of the night, Minhyun sighing as he downed the rest of the beer, running his fingers through Jonghyun's hair before settling into his own space.

— — —

Their day trip went without a hitch; they spent the day together, all five of them, and Seonhwa stuck by them the entire time. During the two months they lived together, the three of them never did get to go out as the three of them, with Minhyun having work and Jonghyun's schedule being erratic, the most time they spent together as three were at night during dinner and bed time. Today, they were able to walk around, go to a small amusement park, eat out, and even play some soccer in the park.

Jonghyun was off buying snacks for them along with his sister and her husband (she wanted to get some plants since they passed by a small flower shop along the way and knew that Jonghyun was far too lanky to carry everything by himself) when Seonhwa took a seat beside Minhyun on the park bench, nuzzling his head against his arm. "Sorry," he starts, pouting as he looked up with beady eyes.

"For?" Minhyun hummed, brows furrowed.

"Me being here. You can't keep your promise cause we're together, right? The only time the both of you have talked today is when I make a mess or I need something," he explains, returning to his head-to-arm nuzzling. Minhyun, in turn, moved to carry Seonhwa and place him on his lap, shaking his head before flicking the boy's forehead lightly.

"You're not allowed to think like that," he starts, clicking his tongue, "you're not a nuisance and you never will be. In fact, you're the reason I can talk to him in the first place," he adds, smiling before pressing a kiss to his forehead. "You're an angel, Seonhwa. Just like your uncle. And all I want from the both of you is to be happy, okay?"

Seonhwa nodded along, hands fisted as he moved closer to Minhyun and rested his forehead on his chest, the other moving to pat the boy's head. They sat there in silence for a while before Seonhwa perked up again, smiling up at him as he spoke, "My mom did say that when you love someone, the best thing would be for your happiness to be the same as theirs, so I'll keep on being happy for you!" He chimes, determined and nodding before crawling off of Minhyun's lap and grabbing the soccer ball he was playing with, dribbling it some before he noticed his parents and uncle returning from their little trip. Minhyun was in awe at how Seonhwa answered him, chuckling to himself as he realised just where the two of them went wrong in their relationship. Did they really need all those years and a six year old before they realised they could've made it work? Maybe, but the fact that he has a second chance in the first place was God-sent.  _It worked out for the better_ , he thought, mirroring Seonhwa's determination as he planned out (or at least tried, to the best of his ability) how he'll approach the topic given the chance.

"Did anything happen while we were gone?" Soyeon asks, smiling as she handed him his juice box, giving Minhyun his own and a sandwich, the three of them putting down their spoils.

"I'm gonna be happy so everyone's happy!" Seonhwa exclaims, fist pumping as he did so.

"That's great!" She replies, patting his head and pressing a kiss atop of it before she made her way to the bench and took a seat, the adults having some downtime before they had to play with him again.

— — —

By the time they separated, the stations were closed and Minhyun, having brought a car (and having an actual license) offered to take Jonghyun home. The family would stay one more day to catch up with each other after the two months of separation, the two needing to go to work in the morning (at least Minhyun did, Jonghyun only needed his laptop).

The drive home he hoped to be as uneventful as the day, but life is unfair and being with Jonghyun in a confined space was pretty much a plea for karma to bite him in the ass. The chance was there and a six year-old's life lesson wasn't about to be disregarded today. "I'm sorry it didn't work out between us," he starts, eyes trained on the relatively empty road, "but I'm still hoping that this time around, it will."

"I told you to stop being optimistic. It'll only bite you in the ass," Jonghyun replies, adjusting his seat belt so he could shift and lean against the window, refusing to make any eye contact with the man driving him home.

"Optimism doesn't always lead to bad ends, Jonghyun."

"With me, it usually does," he snorts, rolling his eyes.

A groan escapes his lips as his fingers drum against the steering wheel, his patience waning as the conversation seems like a repeat of both yesterday and the day of their break up. "Stop being so pessimistic and listen to me for once, will you?"

"For  _once_?" Another scoff. "Minhyun, all I did when we were together was listen to you."

"Not when it mattered," he bites back, knuckles turning white with how tightly he was gripping the steering wheel.

"Name one time," Jonghyun huffed, tone daring as he finally looked the other's way, admiring his side profile for a split second before returning the furrow in his brows.

"We broke up because you didn't listen to me, Jonghyun. That's the one time."

" _Please_ ," another eye roll, another scoff, another dismissive wave. He went back to his previous position, this time his eyes shut as he spoke. "It was a wake up call. We weren't meant to be together, especially with your parents breathing down your— _holy fuck_ what happened to that anyway?"

"What do you think?" It was his turn to scoff this time around, managing to rest his elbow against the windowpane, fingers absentmindedly fiddling with his lips as he drove. "They couldn't say anything. I'm financially stable, thirty, and independent. It's not like they need to force me to have a kid, anyway. Subin's already carrying and is in her eighth month."

"Subin is?! She married?"

"Yeah, a year and a half ago."

"That's great, tell her congrats for me."

"Tell her yourself."

Their conversation died for a while, the creases on Minhyun's forehead only increasing the longer he drove. They were nearing Jonghyun's apartment when Minhyun pulled to a stop at a parking lot nearby. Jonghyun thought this was his cue to leave—he didn't have to drive him all the way to the front of his apartment complex, anyway; they were near enough. He was readying to leave before Minhyun grabbed his wrist, sighing before they locked gazes.

"Seonhwa told me today," he starts, the grip he had on Jonghyun's wrist tightening, "the best thing that could happen to people in love would be for their happiness to align with each other."

"So?" Jonghyun hummed, raising a brow.

"That's what we forgot to do." Confusion plastered itself onto Jonghyun's features as he sat back comfortably, Minhyun releasing his grip as he saw Jonghyun relax; a gesture that he'd stay. "We were always tip-toeing around each other when we were together. _You_ especially. You kept on making sure that  _I_ was okay, that everything  _I_ needed was taken care of, and I didn't even notice."

"That made me happy back then, Minhyun," he explained, shaking his head. "Taking care of you made me feel secure. It meant that you liked having me around, at least. I think that's what I always wanted—someone that would be fine with my presence, be thankful for it, even."

"And I did. I wasn't just  _fine_ with your presence, Jonghyun. You made me feel at peace. I was in love with all of the things you brought in my life, with all of  _you_ that spent time with me and made me  _enjoy_ life. Your presence wasn't just fine, your presence made me happy."

He was holding back the tears then, the sudden confession catching him off guard. He didn't think Minhyun put this much thought into their relationship, put this much thought towards him and his entire being. Being kicked out of his family took a toll on him and ever since then, even with his sisters backing him, all he wanted was a place to call home again. He found that in Minhyun, but at that time Minhyun still had another home he could go back to and he didn't want to take that away from him. That home, after all, was promising him a future with another version of home that could potentially make him happier, that wouldn't entail losing one home in exchange for another. "That's why," he starts, giving him a small smile as his tone wavered, "I made sure you stayed happy."

"You can't keep telling me what you did was for my sake, for my happiness, Jonghyun," Minhyun sighed, shaking his head, a hand reaching over to cup his face, "because it didn't bring me any at all."

"This isn't fair," he starts, voice breaking as he holds back sobs, reaching to hold onto Minhyun's hand against his cheek, leaning against it, "you just can't tell me all of this and suddenly make me the happiest person alive."

Minhyun manages to chuckle before moving to press a small kiss against Jonghyun's temple, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close, his habit of holding onto the back of his head as they hugged never changing. "Life's unfair, as you keep telling me."

"And you're walking proof."

For the past five or so years, the two continued to live with the fact that their twenty-four year old selves didn't know better, didn't know how to make things work, and didn't know how to live with the memories of the two years they spent together would plague them in their every day lives. Sometimes, Minhyun would remember Jonghyun as he went out to shop, seeing a few flannel pieces as he browsed the department store. At times, Jonghyun would pass by adoption centres and see some cats roaming around the area, smiling to himself when he remembered that one time they went to a cat cafe and Minhyun kept on making these small noises whenever he was approached by a cat. There are days that Jonghyun finds himself drinking coffee and wondering if Minhyun's finally acquired a taste for it (he learns that he still hasn't while making tea in his kitchen a few years later) while Minhyun finds himself walking in a daze as he set out to buy some groceries, only to realise he's in a different neighbourhood and he's face to face with the person he imagined would trip at the entrance due to the uneven path while trying to buy some dinner for himself.

The two lived with emptiness in their hearts for the past five years, but that didn't mean they had to live with it for the rest of their lives. It just so happened that this time around, the person who left the emptiness there was also the one who filled it back up. They're one of the lucky ones, it seems, but with a walking contradiction that is the perfectly imperfect Hwang Minhyun by your side, being lucky with these kinds of things seemed to be the most plausible of ways to patch one's self up.

It'll take a while for the two to completely heal again, to find themselves and re-position their persons in each other's lives, but their thirty year old selves know better. Their thirty year old selves would know how to make things work.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also i feel like the pace is suddenly Super Fast i'm so sorry????? i kinda wanted to get this over with cause i personally don't like dawdling either with such things haha (at least if i can help it)


	6. love is a two way street

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> good evening i use too much commas thanks and goodbye i hate me too
> 
> title is from [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SH0pVVBmN0)!
> 
> i hope the timeline fits bc at this point idrk the timeline either in my head lmao
> 
> anyway this is sort of a mix of end + epilogue since i, just as a person, suck and became more interested in their dynamic after they worked things out rather than how they worked things out but OKAY JUST READ ON AND AGAIN I'M SORRY

Make-up sex, in Jonghyun's opinion, is always good.

Make-up sex, in Minhyun's opinion, isn't just one round.

These two opinions would've been great in their twenties, but now Jonghyun's not as enthusiastic for round three as he would've been a decade back. Minhyun has his arms around Jonghyun's waist as he snuggles against him, resting his forehead on Jonghyun's shoulder as the other tries to wriggle himself out of his grasp. "We're not teenagers anymore, Min, I'm exhausted."

"But we just made up. Let me have this, at least?" Minhyun whined, tightening his graps around Jonghyun's waist.

"You won't have me for any longer if you keep this up," he replies, snorting as Minhyun immediately released his grasp, his brows furrowed. Jonghyun turned and had the audacity to laugh at his face when he saw how alarmed the other was. The fact that he had the energy to joke about such a thing...well, that was new. It was a good new, he hoped, since he felt more sure of himself as he teased Minhyun, lacing their fingers together and peppering kisses all over Minhyun's face before asking him to sleep.

What they are now, what they will be in the future, those are decisions for their not post-glow selves. Tonight, however, as they held each other and slept together, hearts light and minds at ease, whatever the future may hold, as long as they held each other, everything would be fine.

\----------

Their not post-glow, groggy morning selves may not be their best selves but that's all they got at 9 AM. The both of them have work to do and neither wants to muster up the energy to get up and face the aftermath of whatever it was they got themselves into. Are they back together? To what extent will their relationship change or stay the same? Are all the misunderstandings cleared up now? What's the game plan?

None of their questions could be answered as their 30 year old selves had to get ready to face society and work their asses off to live and survive. The only thing settled before the two left the apartment was that they'd have dinner tonight at eight. 

\----------

Dinner at eight was all Minhyun could think of as he went on with his work. He was distracted the whole day and multiple people from his team had to ask him if he was alright. He never had an off day at work and everyone was taken aback my the sudden mix of gentle and distraught air surrounding their boss. This was due to how he'd phase in and out of thinking about dinner to thinking about last night; he could've gone for three more rounds if Jonghyun had permitted--he wasn't  _that_ out of shape and surely Jonghyun wasn't either, which would phase him back into thinking about dinner and ended in a vicious cycle his workmates had the pleasure of dealing with for the day.

But they were both more mature now (or at least he'd hope) and more stable, they both knew what they wanted and everything was far clearer with regards to the future and any plans made for it. That's why he came into that restaurant optimistic and bright, all smiles until he had reached the table and saw Jonghyun fidgety with an air of uncertainty surrounding him. 

 _Oh no._ This was  _not_ the most ideal start to their dinner.

He cleared his throat to notify Jonghyun of his presence, taking the seat in front of him and settling down to place the napkin on his lap. They had discussed their dinner first and foremost, placing their order before dealing with the topic at hand.

What's the plan now?

"Before you start," Minhyun interrupts, his hand moving to hold Jonghyun's clenched one. "I....I just really want you to know that I really want this to work and I--"

He gets cut off by Jonghyun moving to hold his hand properly, chuckling softly to himself before he prompted Minhyun to continue with a small nod. "I....I....." He starts, blinking rapidly as he swallows air and saliva, huffing before continuing his thought. "I'm fine with starting as friends if that's what you want but I just really want us to be together again. I don't want to lose you anymore and I...I just love you a lot and I don't think I can properly live out my life knowing I let you go twice."

Minhyun didn't even notice he's been staring at the small plastic flower setting in the middle of the table while talking until he had to look up to see Jonghyun's reaction. He had expected tears, or maybe even furrowed brows and a rejection at the tip of his tongue. He knew how unsure Jonghyun was of their relationship, of himself, of society as a whole. He knew that he brought more burden than he did joy into Jonghyun's life years ago with their hidden relationship; the burden of having to keep it hidden greater than the happiness it brought in that would sometimes lift some of the burden off. But to his surprise, Jonghyun was smiling--laughing, even. It was his soft, airy laughter that greeted him as he looked up on the verge of breaking into cold sweat as he finished his piece.

"You still overthink," Jonghyun tells him, all smiles, the wrinkles around his eyes when he does so a little deeper than it was back then.

"As if you don't," he scoffs back, rolling his eyes and moving to sink in his seat (but just enough so he doesn't have to let go of Jonghyun's hand on the table). 

"Point," he nods, lips pursed, "but I liked your speech."

Between the two of them, Minhyun was always the more eloquent one. He was able to put together his words so intricately and he was able to actually convey what he had in mind. Jonghyun, on the other hand, usually kept to himself. Childhood trauma or not, Jonghyun was never one to share his feelings with others. Maybe it was because he always opted to be alone or maybe it's because he knew just what happened whenever he shares whatever it is that's in his head. But he knew he had to try, whatever circumstance that might be, he knew that one day he'd have to get it all out.

 _Put it into words, say it out loud_. 

It took  _years_ for him to come into terms with having to openly talk to someone about his life--all the goods and the bads; it took him years to reconnect with his sisters after their family fall out even when they kept trying to reach out to him. But at least, he thought to himself, at least it's Minhyun.

Minhyun was familiar, he was old and new all wrapped into one. There was always something new with him, always something to discover. But at the end of it all, Minhyun became a home that let Jonghyun breathe easier. It felt one-sided at first, and maybe that's why they didn't work out. Jonghyun constantly sought the old and the new with Minhyun but never actually brought himself out of his own house on a hill; he waited for Minhyun to make the first move, waited for Minhyun to invite him out, waited for Minhyun to initiate anything and everything. Even now, he mused, he was the first to speak his mind.

But this time, Jonghyun thought to himself, he'll reciprocate. Because no matter what Minhyun says, no matter how much happiness he may have brought into Minhyun's life, he acknowledges now that there wasn't much effort on his part to make it work. He was ready to run when he entered their relationship, always ready to break free and run away the moment he got hurt. But Minhyun, he now knows, is worth it all.

"Listen, Min, I really want things to work between us. I'm just scared it won't be the same as it was a decade ago. I mean, we've both changed and we haven't really caught up on much besides...you know.... _bed stuff_ \--"

Minhyun lets out a snort, shaking his head. "Bed stuff? Really?"

"Shut up!" Jonghyun retorts, face slightly flushed as the waiter brings their meal, prompting the two to let go of their entwined hands. He cleared his throat before continuing, playing with the silverware as he did so. " _Going back_ , I just want to know if we can still make it. I mean I know it's worth it, I know  _you're_ worth it," he hums, turning his attention to his salmon, picking at it before taking a bite, not wanting to look Minhyun in the eyes. He knows the man is just  _beaming_ and he can't stand it. "But I'm still not that steady on my feet so I just want...I want to take things slow."

Minhyun hummed as he took a bite, nodding along and admittedly forcing himself to stop smiling. "Alright, I can take slow," he replies, taking a small sip of water. "So I guess that means no living together yet?"

"Hwang Minhyun!"

\----------

Admittedly, it didn't take long for Jonghyun to give in to their familiar ways. They did end up living together in the past (though that didn't end well) and they did just live together because of Seonhwa, so bringing the little boy back into the picture (or rather, Minhyun volunteering to take him in for the weekends as a backhanded means to pressure him after months of putting it off) ended in the obvious: Jonghyun packing his things and writing Minhyun's address on every box. 

It's been roughly eight months since they got back together and he's had to bear the brunt of all that happiness in the form of a six year old crying in his arms out of sheer joy when he broke the news to his sisters.

"You really didn't break your promise," Seonhwa huffed at Minhyun the night he found out they got back together.

"Well, I'm getting there. One step at a time," he replies, pinching the small boy's cheek before pressing kisses all over his face. 

If one kid wasn't enough to make Jonghyun weak in the knees (literally), Sujin ended up dropping by with a baby in hand two months after he had moved in, asking him to babysit for the weekend. Really, why do these people think he's mature enough to take care of children? He can barely take care of himself and the huge baby that is Hwang Minhyun, what more a baby barely a year old?

It was a mess if he did say so himself, but they were both still alive by the time Minhyun got home, the baby--Heiran, if he remembers correctly--asleep in his arms as he greeted his boyfriend home.

Minhyun, instead of going for his usual 'I'm home' kiss, looks at the baby and stares it down. He hums with his fingers tapping his chin, brows furrowed as he goes from looking at the baby to looking at Jonghyun. "I guess she has my eyes....and...." he starts, eyes still shifting from one to another. "She has your lips?"

He scoffs at him and moves to kick him lightly. "She's not  _ours_! She's your niece for heaven's sake!"

"Heiran!" He shouts in remembrance, jolting the baby awake.

Jonghyun groans, rolling his eyes as he moves to calm the baby down. "Yes, Heiran. Now go get yourself cleaned up, I already ate with her. Dinner's on the table, I'll put her to bed."

"No fair! Why does she get all the attention? How long is she staying?"

"She's a  _baby_!" He huffs, ignoring his boyfriend for the rest of the evening.

\----------

Minhyun's been grumbling about work more than usual and even Seonhwa had asked what's going on with him during their weekly babysitting sessions (though there have been more cancellations due to work these days, they still made sure to spend some time with their favourite cupid incarnate). 

"Uncle, you gotta get your act together. If you keep being lame, Uncle Jonghyun will break up with you."

"Don't say that!!" Minhyun whined, reaching for the boy and nuzzling his face onto his middle, making small whining noises all the while. "I even told my coworkers about us already!"

Jonghyun, in the kitchen, disgruntled, all but screamed. "You did  _what?!_ "

Well, that explains it.

Jonghyun's been finding lipstick stains on Minhyun's shirts where he couldn't see, cute pens and small notes in the pockets of Minhyun's trousers and jackets, and overbearing perfume on his blazer. Minhyun's made it a point to tell him whenever he's been confessed to at work just so Jonghyun wouldn't get nervous or jealous (but really with how much Minhyun's been all over him he didn't even think anything of all of those confessions) but lately those small and delicate declarations of war had been nothing but annoying.

It wasn't until a subordinate of Minhyun had come by to pick-up a document he'd left behind that he felt the open declaration of war. He'd been in his sweats, all groggy looking from having just woken up by Minhyun's call to notify him of the mishap at work after a late night having to deal with his own pain in the ass boss and subordinates when a fresh looking young woman had come by and once-over-ed him to hell.

"Mr. Hwang did say you  _were_ very good-looking. Well, I'll be on my way! Drop by the office any time, I'm sure everyone's dying to meet you!" She sing-songed, cheerfully bidding him farewell. Alright then, if it's a war they want, it's a war they get.

It wasn't until a week later when he was asked for help for a project of Minhyun. They were shorthanded and needed a Japanese expert and it was too late-notice to hire someone from the outside. Since the opportunity presented itself, Jonghyun agreed when Minhyun asked for help.

The girls were still gossiping on the side, waiting for him to show up and snicker amongst themselves. Well, it's understandable--they'd obviously think it's just a phase and that he'd want a family in the future, at least that's what his parents had told him before he left--but he's not backing down now.

He came into Minhyun's office with his hair half styled up, wearing a nice fitting black suit, a belt around his waist as his accent accessory, all smiles as he greeted each and every one. Minhyun's female coworkers weren't as well receiving as his male ones, some whispering ' _I could go for him_ ' behind his back.

It didn't take much to make Minhyun flirt inside his office, what with him on Minhyun's lap, straddling him as they made out (among some other things). By the time he left Minhyun's office, he passed by the subordinate who had visited him at their place a week prior, smiling at her as he got his things that she was holding. "It was a pleasure to meet everyone!" He greeted them as he sorted his things, grinning at the girl before walking out, whispering as he passed. " _No threat_."

\----------

They spend Jonghyun's 31st birthday at home binge-watching anime like teenagers, just like how Jonghyun wants. It was a relatively uneventful night, a peaceful one where the two just bask in each other's presence.

For Minhyun's 31st, however, they opted to eat out as per Minhyun's request. It's been roughly more than a year and a half (they stopped counting and opted to keep the celebrations to birthdays, christmas, and new years) since they got back together and around eight months since they started living together again. They weren't getting any younger and Minhyun became more sure of himself and their relationship after they'd gotten steadier on their feet. After Jonghyun got promoted to the team manager of the events coverage team in their magazine and Minhyun landed and successfully finished a high-profile project for one of their bigger sponsors and backers, he's slowly gotten on the better side of their company president. Jonghyun got his slow and steady this past year and a half, but Minhyun wanted some steady for him as well. And he couldn't think of any better way than this.

They were on their way back from the dinner, Jonghyun reclining his seat all the way, groaning and complaining about his back (it was because of his bad posture, he had to admit) when Minhyun brought the topic up. Or rather, lamely placed the idea in Jonghyun's head. How everything unfolded, however, went over and beyond his expectations.

"Hey Minhyun, could you turn the A/C down a bit? It's getting chilly." Jonghyun asked, shifting in his seat, trying to find a comfortable position to lie down in.

"Sure. But hey, Jonghyun?" He starts, Jonghyun humming in reply. "Could you be my husband?"

"Sure."

He had to step on the break and pull over in shock, to which Jonghyun groaned even more, looking at his partner with shock plastered on his features before he was waved off. "Don't stop and stare for  _that_. What did you want me to say?" Jonghyun huffed, curling up in his seat, covering his face with his arms. "Just go and drive, my back is killing me and I just want to lie down and sleep."

Evidently, Minhyun's first agenda for the next day was to get rings--he didn't know what to expect so he didn't bother to get some; how everything played out wasn't really his plan for the night, but he's glad it did. Who could ask for a better birthday present?

By the time any of their coworkers and friends saw them next, the both of them were wearing silver rings on their left hands and the onslaught of questions became never ending for at least a week. They didn't have any plans to do any official paper work for their marriage, but maybe in the future they'd go to Europe and make it paper-official, just to show off.

It wasn't as eventful as people thought--second chances, that is. There were no abrupt misunderstandings, overheard conversations, nasty parents and even nastier leeches and third parties, but there were lots of talks, lots of tears, and even more kisses and small moments shared. It wasn't that they couldn't work out when they first tried, it's just that neither knew how to nor put in enough effort into trying. The unsteadiness and unsure nature of their relationship soon became the least of their worries as their family had expanded even more the more years they spend together. Jonghyun's second sister had gotten married, Seonhwa now has a little brother, Heirin's growing up to be as cheeky as all the other Hwangs, and Jonghyun had finally gotten a taste of family.

It all started off shaky, but at least had a very solid finish. And all they had to do was to put it into words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i projected but really lil ball of anxiety jonghyun is just a mood
> 
> i hope that it ended on a good note i rly didnt know how to end it like the last lines n stuff bUT ANYWAY THAT'S ONE THING OFF MY TO-DO LIST SLDKJFSLDKFJ THANKS FOR READING SO FAR AAAAA BLESS Y'ALLS AND HOPE YOU LIKED IT!!!
> 
> but if you have any questions come @ me on my [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/vvalpurgisnacht)!!

**Author's Note:**

> i don't study geography i legit just picked all those places up from wiki if there are any mistakes please tell me p l e a s e
> 
> title taken from [wind, stop blowing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Md3tpTu8zJA), which nu'est w recently did a remake of!
> 
> also pls hmu on [cc](https://curiouscat.me/vvalpurgisnacht) for all ur comments since i usually now just read the comments y'all leave on here but can't properly reply. i love all your comments tho on all my fics so thank u so much for leaving some hehe <3


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